“I’ll be there for you….”- wait, let me check my schedule…

I have shared in the past that I am a pretty restless person. Eight months ago, I left my position at a title company, and have found myself home most days– with the exception of being actively involved with my church youth group plans. I took this time to try to quiet myself to just “be still”.

Silly me…. How do I “be still”?

I have taken time to read books, dive into my Bible, connect with people, start my own Etsy shop, and most admittedly– binge on Netflix. One of the shows that I am re-watching (yes, I have seen the series through, twice now) is Friends. Now, it’s not my most favorite of the binge-watching series shows that I have embarked on, but it can be a fun one to just turn on. Plus, who doesn’t love a show about friends?

The other day, I was thinking a little deeper about the concept of friendships. We had a friend over a week ago, and really with no intention except to just chill out. Not really any plans, but the bribe of pizza and snacks. We did just that. We chilled. We ate pizza, indulged on goodies, and watched a journalism documentary, because, well…. yeah. You know. #journowife

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At the end of the night, I felt full and complete. Not just because of all the junk I consumed, but because my home became something I have been yearning for. I have always wanted my home, as little or big as it is, to have an open door. My life isn’t perfect, but really, whose is? So, why not literally give into the idea of “doing life together”? That means: my home is open, it may be un-kept and untidy, it may smell with the stench of cooked foods, and with stacks of dishes yet to be placed in the dishwasher. But, it would always be welcoming. That load of dishes can wait. The laundry can just chill in the basket (or floor) a little longer. There is such a thing as candles for the cover up of old food smell. And my door will be open, with a couch and blankets for you to curl up on to settle in. Oh, and coffee. Always coffee.

I feel like we aren’t necessarily the exception to the rule, but it seems that we live in a day and age where we pride ourselves on schedules. We must plan out every detail, of every hour, of every day. I am guilty of the exact same thing. Since being home, I have a newfound appreciation for those that don’t live according to a schedule– whoever you are! HA!

Looking at Friends, I started getting jealous of a fictional show, where friends unrealistically live across an apartment hall from each other, and work in unrealistic settings of making and creating their own work schedules. I started getting envious of the idea of doing holidays together, because these friends were family. I am sad that we don’t have nightly dinners together, or that we don’t think of our “group” for big events in our lives– award shows, recognition dinners, births, birthdays, etc. This made me stop and think…. who is our group? Who is it that we allow to do life together? Who is it that we could stand seeing for long periods of time– almost constantly? Who is it that truly is the generic idea of “family”? Do you have that?

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Some may say my extroverted nature plays a part in this– but lets just leave our Meyer’s Briggs results out of this. Let’s think beyond our own comfort, and look outward. Who do you know that needs friends… better yet, family? Who is it that needs your open door more than they ever will admit to? Who is it that you can stand seeing daily, and you don’t mind showing the nitty-gritty of your home life? Privacy isn’t bad. Safety is always good. But what if you let yourself have the opportunity to just let people in?

My husband and I are polar opposites when it comes to our “personality tests”. I am the people-lover, and he is the overwhelmed-by-people one. In many ways, we have made it work. Not easy, but can be done. A little give and take, if you ask me. But what I need is that feeling of “togetherness”. I love knowing that we can have friends come in, curl up on our couch, do the occasional chat, and without high expectations of constantly performing. Literally. Just relax. Just eat and talk. Just binge on the Office together. Plan nights of This Is Us viewings together… just DO!

My love language is affirmation, and most recently quality time. So, if I am completely honest, being home has been TOUGH. I have loved the absolute zero stress that now exists, but for this people-person, it has been tough. Feeling like I have failed at life, thrown away an income, don’t fit the “mom mold”, and actually like it being “just the two of us”– I feel like that doesn’t fit anywhere. People around us are involved in a lot of extra-curricular activities, if you will. Or, they already have their “established” friend groups. Or they are 99% responsible for making sure their kids and pets survive. I pseudo get it. I say pseudo because I am involved in extra-curricular things with church, but I don’t have my solid “forever friend” group, nor pets or children to look after. I do have to remind my husband to throw away empty pop cans… but, you get the gist.

I struggle often with friendships. I crave them, and yearn for them. Yet, it seems like I may struggle with unrealistic expectations of friendships. I am probably too much for people– I know this about myself. I live in a fantasy world of sorts, and often times my idea of reality is still off in a dream world than what is actually the cultural reality of today.

I may be too much for people. But I love people. I want to have unrealistic expectations of life and friendships, because really, that’s who I am. I may be too much. And if I happen to get hurt because I am too much, and turns out that isn’t your jam, then so be it. You live and learn. And out there, someday, those people will exist. I am just trying harder to live life in a mold of loving everyone. Being friends with people. Giving more people the benefit of the doubt. And opening my home to a potential lifetime of love and relationships.

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Find your people. I am finding mine. It may be seasonal. It may not look how you think it should. But when you do, affirm those people. Because, they may need it. I always need it. (Of course, my love language is “words of affirmation”– *eye roll*).

To wrap this up full circle, my being still has shown me a lot about myself, and about how I have been given an opportunity to change the perspective of many… perspectives of life, reality, friendships, faith, and acceptance. I don’t want to live in this culture where we pride ourselves on “self”. I am trying so hard to live beyond myself. I can only hope that my home will show that reflection.

Until next time,

Amy

 

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Let me tell you a story…

It was about fifteen years ago that I told my parents that I thought I was being called to ministry. Having had my parents in ministry, aunts and uncles, and cousins also in pastoral ministry, I had seen plenty of the good and the bad. I remember sitting on their bed after a nightly ritual of family prayer time, and sobbing as I told them this calling. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to get hurt.

Isn’t amazing how Satan can turn something so very clearly God, and twist it to be a fear? What a lame-o. To be honest, I ran from it. For a very long time. I am now thirty years old, and find myself so insanely restless to be doing something that will fulfill that deep calling of serving in ministry.

In January of this year, I left my job in the title industry, shy of three years being there. I didn’t know what was next, but I knew I needed a change. After praying with my husband about this, we decided it would be the best time to step out of that position, and just “be still” for a while. I had volunteered to be a high school small group leader in my church, and I decided I was going to pour into that a little more, as well as wait for opportunities to be a “yes” person.

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By April, I was on my third missions trip to Mexico with Casa Dayspring (I will share more about that later). Right before I left, however, I had received a text message from one of our youth group leaders, asking if I would be interested in helping lead a group on a missions trip to Chicago in June. Gut reaction was, “Um, not really…. a week with high school kids?!” I didn’t respond that way. Don’t worry! I had replied that I would pray about it over the course of my missions trip, and give an answer when I returned. I don’t know why I struggled so bad on that response. Isn’t that what I wanted? Didn’t I want to be used in ministry, because after all, that was my calling?

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After the week in Mexico, I knew I needed to go. I responded that I would help lead the ChicaGO trip with NMC (my church). And truly…. things started happening. Fast forward to June 18th. I climbed on the bus with 49 youth, and seven leaders, and embarked on our trip to Chicago.

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We arrived at Wheaton College, and settled into our dorms, preparing for an evening session with the group, and the rest of the churches participating with Lead The Cause (the organization leading the Chicago trip). I don’t know how to fully put into words what the rest of the week was like, except for truly one of the greatest times in my life. I watched hundreds of kids praising the Lord in worship, breaking through barriers and strongholds of their young lives, and gaining a whole new love and confidence in Christ. Not only was I witness to these life-changing moments, but I changed, too. I fell in love with these kids. I bonded with them. I bonded with the rest of the leaders– filling a deep loneliness I had been battling for a long time. I finally felt like I “fit”. Shortly after returning home from the trip, I immediately went into a “mourning” phase– coming off such a high moment, and now back to reality. UGH! That night, I decided I would join the entire youth group on their trip to Ohio for summer camp. Y’all… we leave Friday! WOO!

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So, here I am. I sit at home, trying to be still and wait for what’s next. The high of Chicago is dwindling, as expected with all trips. I am preparing for camp, and anticipating what amazing things will happen there. I am seeing the Lord mold me and change me in areas that I never knew I needed. I needed these kids, these leaders, and this trip more than I knew, and now I can’t imagine having said “no” to them.

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Things are changing. I am craving Jesus. I am desiring more of Him, and more from Him. I want to be so in love with Him, that nothing else matters. The lonely times, the times of struggling with my “fit”, the what-ifs of our future, all the anxieties and doubts…. I want it all about Him.

My story is changing. My life is different from most people’s. I am typically an open book when it comes to my life, but lately, I have been trying to just be still and wait. Isn’t that the hardest thing in the world? I think so.

So, there you have it. I told you I was going to tell you a story… 🙂

O.V.E.R.T.H.I.N.K.E.R.

The other day I had a friend tell me that I am an “overthinker”. After taking it personal– because let’s face it, I take everything personal– I began to sit on that a little bit. I mauled it over in my head, and read a few articles on what that means. (See, overthinker!)

I found a really good article about what someone might think if they are in love with an overthinker…. Read it here! This totally opened my eyes… and then I immediately read it to my husband, Christian. He sat there, nodding to each point in agreement. Why has this lightbulb just now been lit??

I had seen this video post all over Facebook, pointing out the five things that prove you are an overthinker, but hadn’t given it much thought. Finally, after the revelation that my friend touted to me yesterday, I decided to not only read a couple articles, but to watch that viral video.

Punch. In. The. Gut. Why has it taken decades of friendships and relationships to get me to this point of realizing this fault. Fault? Is it really, though? Here are the five points that were given from the article that the video above referenced:

  1. They feel very remorseful when they mess up– true! Totally true. I overthink scenarios in my head, and concoct situations that make me eventually react. And then you say something, or do something, and the minute you do, it’s like- “Aw, crap, that was an overreaction.” Then you can’t stop saying, “I’m sorry!”
  2. They aren’t as crazy as they might seem. — I think one of the biggest anxieties that anyone has is the fear that people find you crazy. You tend to think about what others think of you, what they perceive you as, etc. Then you start apologizing for “behaving crazy”. Ugh. See the cycle?
  3. They can have fun.– In my experience, I tend to go toward the side of deep, serious relationships. I am not, however, afraid to have fun. But then I end up overthinking what “fun” is. What if my friends aren’t having fun at something I orchastrated? What if people find me boring, when I think I am having fun? Things like that. It’s a terrible feeling. BUT when the setting is right, and the people are right…. watch out world! Fun Amy is about to appear 😉
  4. They can’t make decisions– Yeahhhhh….. where to eat… anyone else? I think this one doesn’t define me as much. It is hard for me to make a decision sometimes, but it’s only becuase I am afraid that people won’t like the choice, and then it comes back to haunt me. Worst. Feeling. Ever.
  5. They want to escape.– YES! To define something so strong in a personality, such as being called an “overthinker”, it can kind of mess with you. Because that’s what happens. Never do I ever want anyone to dislike me. I also don’t want to upset anyone. I overthink everything, and care too much. And then you get stuck in your mind, and there’s nowhere else to go.

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One thing that I am learning, from this ah-ha moment of being called an overthinker… is that I don’t want to give up that trait about me. Even though it may drive others nuts, it is a part of who I am. It goes deeper than just overthinking… It’s a part of you. I am going to embrace that quality, because I think it is necessary for my growth.

So, if you find yourself being an overthinker, don’t let other’s exasperate you. Embrace that quality. Feel deeply. Love deeply. Don’t think so hard what other’s might think of you, but be bold in thinking of others. If people don’t want to embrace that, or understand that, about you… then just know that your heart is bigger and greater than those that don’t want to understand that about you. You are worth more! Hey, preachin’ to the choir!

Be confident! Love deeply! Embrace the broken and enjoy the life! And in the end, don’t let the trait of overthinking be an issue for you. You’re worth more!

— Amy

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Just Call Me Jacob

Recently, I have been feeling like I am in a wrestling match with God. I am in the ring, struggling to keep my foot, and tirelessly trying not to fall to the ground in defeat.

You see, I get in these bouts quite frequently, I notice. I tend to battle the questions, doubts, and plans for my life. If only I could give you a glimpse inside my mind, would you even begin to see the many thoughts that constantly run through it.

Ironically, my last post was about being in the waiting room– waiting for direction and answers as to what my future would look like. Now, I feel like I am in the middle of that darned wrestling ring. I want so badly to stop wrestling with fear, depression, anxiety, comparison, lack of self-esteem, and lack of faith. I want so badly to throw caution to the wind and take adventures without questioning. I want so badly to be genuinely excited for people’s milestones in life– without even the tiny twinge of ache.

I want to love others beyond what I think I am capable of. I want to be like Jesus, who never cast any judgment on those He came in contact with daily– not even those who killed him. I want to walk in complete faith, and never doubt that each step I take is a step closer to a life of worth and joy.

But the truth is, each is day is a new wrestling match. I try to wake up and thank the Lord for a new day of life, but I am quickly reminded how much “I have going on”. Then it’s like the bell rings, and the wrestling begins. Take your pick, Amy, which fight you want to try and win today….

I can tell you that it is so exhausting. It is so draining. And I am tired of every single day, fighting this fight. I know my self-worth doesn’t come from others, nor does it come from my achievements and success. It doesn’t come from personal affirmation, or following some pre-meditated timeline of what an adults life should look like. I KNOW that! But why…. why, does it constantly feel like that?

I will be honest with you all…. I am struggling. I am struggling to find my place. I am 29 years old, working in a place that was never even a thought on my mind, dreaming of past dreams that haven’t become reality, and watching all my friends have babies. I would like to not be living in a tiny apartment, with lots of student loan debt hanging over us. And at the core of all that is this selfish voice inside me going, “When is it my turn?” When can I follow my own dreams? When can we settle down and have a place of our own? When can we expand our family? When can we be out of student loan debt?

See….. pick the battle. And yet, even if all those things DID happen, or WILL happen, doesn’t mean that other battles won’t come up. I know this. But at the same time, I get into that ring and start the fight. I weaken with every moment, and still muster up the strength to get through the day.

As I have been reading through the Bible, one of the stories that I absolutely loved was the story of Jacob fighting the angel (Genesis 32:24-28):

“So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

I love this story because to me, each wrestling that I have is just a reminder of how powerful my Lord is. It is a reminder that through the many struggles, doubts, tears, and questions, that there will be blessings. These battles will be overcome. In my timing? Probably not. But in time? Absolutely.

Are you in a wrestling match of your own? I know I am not alone. I know there are things that cause your heart to sink, and battles you don’t want to fight. But the great thing is, you are not alone. We may like to think we have it all together, and we may smile at everyone. But we don’t know what it is we each are fighting. Don’t hesitate talking it out. Always lay it out in prayer. And find encouragement from those that have been in their own wrestling ring.

 

In the Waiting Room

Can I be fully honest and claim that “waiting” is literally the worst thing in.the.world?

I find myself cuddled up on my couch, wrapped in blankets, streaming Netflix, pondering this season of life that I am in.

I am completely over it. I am over this season… .the one that has lasted for many, many months (let’s be real– over a year). I am in my last year of my twenties, recovering from the mindset that I should make the most of this “last”, and all I can do is feel the rise of anxiety swelling up inside me. You know the feeling… rapid heartbeat, splotchy skin, and the sweaty hands. Gross, I know. It overwhelms me. It consumes me. And unfortunately, I am going to have to deal with it. I am not Benjamin Button, after all.

It’s hard to be in this stage. I know I am not the only one that gets to be here…. and for many, it can happen in all phases of life– maybe even multiple times, Lord help us! How do you embrace those seasons? I often picture myself in this little box, in a waiting room of sorts, twiddling my thumbs and staring up at the sky as to say, “Yep, God, I am still here. Where you have me. Might I remind you that this room is a lonely, depressing one?”

Of course that’s a dumb question to ask God. Duh! He knows. It’s all for a greater purpose, right? I don’t find myself in the “Christian” bubble of getting married, buying a house, steady jobs, and having a family…. the “storybook” way of life that often surrounded the thinking of the majority crowd I was raised in. Now, before people jump all over me for saying that, let’s break it down.

I am in no way condemning or judging the way/path/decisions of those that happen to be in my world. Each person is responsible for themselves, the direction the aspire to, etc. But I also know, that if you grew up in the “church”, it seemed like the “norm” was to be the submissive housewife, mother, friend, and church member. We desired fellowship in our starter homes, cooking successful dishes from the ever popular Pinterest, dreaming of our growing families…. should I keep going? I don’t think I am too far off. God may have laid those desires on your heart, and you’ve done everything in your might to make it happen– and He has blessed those desires.

Let’s take it a step farther though. What if you have those same desires, and they haven’t happened? What if you got married, live in a tiny home that holds small, small numbers of people, and your Pinterest-fail dinner prompts the rush of searching Google for the nearest pizza place to save your hungry guests? And what if every pregnancy announcement cuts a little deeper on the inside, while forcing a smile and excitement that truly is somewhere in your hurting being? And it’s been the same routine for years…..

After awhile, that waiting room you are in feels like it’s going to cave in any moment. Gasping for breath, grasping at straws, and praying each new day brings you one step closer to figuring out the meaning of this waiting room. How many prayers must be uttered, questions being asked, and tears must fall before there is a glimmer of hope beyond the lonely room you sit and wait in? Have you been there? I am sure at some point in your life, you have experienced broken dreams, wavering doubts of what is a “desire”, hurt, pain, and confusion. I know I am not alone.

But I am there. I am in a waiting room. And it is literally one of the saddest, loneliest, terrifying places to be.

I think about the life of Jesus. I wonder what human thoughts and desires He had. Did He have any? I mean, He is fully man. But I wonder if He felt He was in His own waiting room, throughout His whole ministry? What about the garden He was in right before his arrest? In a sense, it was His waiting room. Only… He knew what was going to happen. But I imagine it was a sad, lonely, and terrifying place. The beautiful thing about that waiting room, was in the end, there was triumph. That gives me a sense of peace for my own waiting room.

So, as my desires grow, my heart goes through happy, sad, hard, excited moments, and I can know that its only a waiting room. There is triumph beyond that space. It may not be in my timing, nor my plan, but it may produce the BEST moment(s) of my life. I loathe this season… I really do. But I can only cling to the truth that there is a life beyond the waiting room. And when the Lord decides to open that door, it’s going to be an amazing walk through it.

I cannot wait. Literally.

To the girl who thinks she’s weird

Dear Weird,

Is it ok to call you that? I mean, we all notice it. You even notice it. You are kind of….weird.

I want you to know how admired you are. Do you realize you wear weird really well? You own it. You thrive in it. Even though you think it is a fault. Can I tell you something? I am weird, too. Maybe that is why we get along. Then again, maybe it’s not– maybe our weirds are just totally different.

I understand you, you know. I know how you are feeling. Being weird has it’s moments. It can be exhausting, and not because you are trying so hard, but you are being beaten down by the world every single minute of the day. You pressure yourself to fit in, and to be like the rest. You are convinced that your weirdness is also your demise. Please never think that. What you believe is “weird” is actually the most beautiful thing about you. We were never created to fit in. We were never designed to live like the rest. We were to be in the world, not of it. It’s ok if you aren’t wealthy with money, or driving the best car, living in the nicest house, achieving every rung of the success ladder…. Do I need to keep going? So what if your interests aren’t the same as everyone else? Doesn’t that make you feel awesome? You are living YOU!

No amount of “normalcy” will ever make you feel better if you are believing that someone else’ “normal” should be the same as yours. And that’s what makes you believe you are weird. Oh child, you are far from it. You are a beautiful creation of God. You have been given so much. You have every right to be weird. Do not let the world define who you are. Embrace the weird you feel.

To the one who is struggling to accept yourself, stop believing the lies that are in constant reminders of our daily lives. Quit comparing your life to the person’s Instagram, that has a perfectly staged photo of “real life”. Stop reading the comments of those that believe they are inferior because they can say things on a Facebook post– things that they probably would never have the courage to say to a person’s face. Do not fall for the world. Be in it, not of it. I will say it again…. Be in it, not of it. Embrace this life you have been blessed with. Take daring adventures because that is where your heart is. Choose a career path that makes your heart soar, even if you make two cents. Look in the mirror and remind yourself that your freckles, your hair color, the dimples on your skin, the bump in your nose, and every other little thing you critique yourself on, makes you the most beautiful kind of “weird”.

We all want what we can’t have. The minute you put your weird aside, and start wanting the “perfect life”, will be the beginning of the messy down slide of loneliness, sadness, and lead you down a path, away from who you are.

You don’t believe me, do you? You don’t believe that your weird is actually quite awesome. But, I will tell you what….. if you can daily surrender the negative thoughts, and the negative lies that are convincing you to be something other than you are, then you will be the best version of you that you can possibly be. God created you to be different. He knew you would be. Because we weren’t made to fit in. We were made to STAND OUT! And when you stand out, you will be labeled all kinds of weird. And that, my dear, is quite alright.

Be you. Be strong. Stand up. And stand out. Embrace what you believe to be weird. Because in all actuality, your “weird” is going to change the world.

God Molds us

Real vs. Not Real- Healthy Eating Habits

I can’t believe that I am actually going to be posting this, because I am sure it might offend some people. Also, because I am going to step out of my comfort zone. But I also want to make something very clear: I am no doctor, no nurse, nothing of a health professional, etc. But I have done things that have challenged my health. I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. But I have also seen the GREAT!

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You can journey back to my very early posts of this blog, and see my journey on the GAPS diet. That diet then transitioned into the Paleo lifestyle. I did a crazy, 8-week intense detox and diet, mostly called a “lifestyle change”. It was hell. It was torture. I cried every single day, and I thought I was going to die. But at 8 weeks, I felt amazing!!

One of the rules of the Paleo challenge is to eat things that are non-GMO, antibiotic free. That means, all natural/organic meat, fruits and veggies. It can be slightly more costly. But it is REAL food. Nothing processed, nothing modified with steroids and other chemicals, etc.

Lately, I have seen a viral post online of why we SHOULDN’T eat non-GMO foods. When I saw it, my blood boiled.

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Yeah, most people would look at the left side and be grossed out. Others would look at the right and see success. I look at the left and I see reality. I see what real is. On the right, I see fake. I see what using chemicals and steroids does– it produces things that are fake.

What I want to share next, is what REAL food did for me, and what fake, processed food has done. When I started the Paleo diet, I was at the heaviest I ever had been. You will see it on the left. On the right, I was about 20 lbs lighter, all within the first month. I had cut out all processed, fake crap- including conventional store-bought meats, GMO filled fruits and veggies. I filled my diet with organic meats, fruits and veggies. I had eggs (cage free), raw almonds, and other raw, natural foods. And just LOOK at what it did to me? I think that is a far cry of difference from the depiction above.

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Seriously. So embarrassing. I can’t believe I am posting that picture. But can you see the good? This is only 4 weeks in! 4 WEEKS!! Of eating super clean! I was able to maintain this lifestyle pretty good for the month or so to follow. Then, I slowly started introducing fast food, processed foods, candy, conventional meats and produce, etc…. Over the next year, I saw the weight start coming back on. I started feeling like crap. I was sore, tired, sick, felt gross, and I was unhappy. The picture below shows me at my healthiest, in November of of 2014 on the left, and then summer of 2015 on the right. IMG_2805

I started eating GMO foods, processed foods, and every other piece of CRAP– and now I am eeking my way back to that very first, awful swimsuit picture at the top. And it’s unacceptable. Because all those reasons to change my lifestyle in the first place, have all gone out the window. It seems pointless. It seems like I wasted my time, money and energy. All my efforts and hard work have gone down the drain.

My point in all of this is to show you what eating clean DID do to me. I didn’t look fake, I looked healthy. I looked healthy because I was eating healthy. I felt healthy because I chose healthy, real options. Do not be fooled by chemicals that claim to be “real food”. All it does is make you crave more crap. And the more crap you put into your body, the more you start feeling unhealthy.

I have a coworker who I am so incredibly proud of. She has made a lifestyle change, all on her own. And she is reaping the benefits. She is looking great, feeling great, and it’s all because she has chosen to partake in real clean, healthy eating. She has challenged me to start thinking about it all over again. It is not a snap decision. The minute it is, you almost set yourself up for failure. It takes a mindset and a determination to WANT to feel good and put into your bodies what is going to be beneficial.

I partly write this to give myself my own pep talk. Because I know what the detox is going to be like. I know what is in store initially– and it won’t be pretty. But I also know how I felt when I felt amazing, and was making healthy choices. It is just getting myself in the mode and running toward the prize.

I can’t wait for the day that I can come back here and post the picture and update of the GOOD things that are happening because of changing bad habits. But for now, I have to start small. I have to start making the changes I already know to make. Let’s encourage one another. Let’s not do it alone!!

Here’s to being REAL and HEALTHY!!!

*Above picture created by a Chad Mathews on Facebook
* Please do not use the images of myself for your profit or gain. This is merely for comparison and encouragement on my private blog